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Posted by Ukinojoe - September 10th, 2008

For those of you who are LUCKY ENOUGH not to live in AMERIKKKA, you probably don't have to worry about a little-known substance known as High-Fructose Corn Syrup. You might know about corn syrup, but HFCS is a horribly gruesome mutant modification of corn syrup. From what I've come to learn about it, it's a processed food meant to emulate sugar, but since regular corn syrup has lower amounts of fructose in it than sugar, they GENETICALLY MODIFY it to have more. Example:

Sugar(sucrose): 50% glucose, 50% fructose
High Fructose Corn Syrup 55 (the kind found in soda): 45% glucose, 55% fructose.

So, what does this mean? I don't know. What could it mean for American nutrition? Maybe nothing. My sister's been talking bad about HFCS for months now, but it wasn't until I saw THIS COMMERCIAL that I realized I need to know more about the subject.

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So obviously the dangers of HFCS are a complete myth because everyone's too dumb and ignorant to see past the leftist propaganda that are just trying to take one of the biggest lobbyists down a pegWOAH WOAH Woah hold on before I get ahead of myself. Some facts:

-The corn industry produces more corn that is ever eaten by Americans. (You know, corn? Sweet corn, popcorn? The type you put into your mouth and eat that's in the SHAPE of corn? Hardly any of the corn produced becomes that.)

-Not only sugar, corn is used in the production of bread, adhesives, fuel, preservatives, and thousands of other things we use today.

-Most livestock like cattle and poultry are cornfed. Yeah, that means every time you eat chicken or beef, you're EATING MORE CORN. Ever go to McDonalds? Everything is corn. Everything.

-Corn is not very cheap to grow, but America has made it so it can be sold at low prices and farmers will still make a handsome profit. Know how this works? Besides the fact that EVERYTHING WE EAT IS CORN, this is probably the grossest of them all.

Taxpayers are paying enormous subsidies to corn growers, Bush made sure of that really quietly a few years back when everyone was too busy focusing on the war he started. In 2005 alone, $9.4 billion of taxes went straight to the corn guys. So whenever you go to McDonalds, thinking you made off like a bandit with that 99 cent Quarter McGreasy or whatever the fuck, they're really paying you in spades not only from making you fat with their nastiful food but you also end up paying them in your taxes.

Every one of those fucks in the junk food business (ANY American candy, soda, fast food, beef, etc) is dipping their greasy toes into the big ass pool full of corn kernels and these commercials they're sponsoring is just another thing to keep us fat, quiet, and addicted.


Ok, now that that's out of the way, here's a more conservative side.

I can't say I'm not a little skeptical. HFCS is, in a nutritional sense, very similar to sugar. Sugar is also addictive, can be harmful to your body, has alot of calories, and we do still eat alot of it despite the amount of HFCS everywhere.

The fact of the matter is that there really is insufficient research being done to find out more about HFCS and its possible negative effects on us. There's really only a few relevant arguments I can really think of that aren't just brutal attacks at the corn industry.

-Glucose can be absorbed by your bloodstream and organs and be used as energy. Fructose is mostly absorbed by your liver and is stored as fat. (Keep in mind, sugar has fructose too, but that extra 5% of it in HFCS can make a difference!!) Additionally, there are many types of HFCS, some with 58% fructose and 42% glucose.

-The other one, as you might have noticed if you enjoy Jone's Soda, is that HFCS tastes lousy. It's gross. It has a nasty aftertaste that makes your throat feel like it's burning with puke. You don't get that with sugar soda like Jone's. If you DO live outside America and haven't ever been here, you probably don't realize our soda tastes like ass. Even Canada and Mexico use sugar. USA is the only country, as far as I know, that HFCS is used so extensively.


I've been avoiding Hight Fructose Corn Syrup since Saturday the 6th, and I'll be exclusively avoiding it at LEAST until Saturday the 13th and then I'll write up about it some more in a FP post. I REALLY want to know if there'll be a difference, since the facts are all hard to follow or believe I decided the only way to find out is to try for myself and see if there's any noticeable difference. It's really not that hard. You just have to look at the ingredients section of any Nutrition Facts label on any food you buy, it's almost always the first or second ingredient if it's there.

If anyone has more facts about HFCS, or wants to correct me on anything I may have fucked up writing about, please feel free to and I'll edit it in. Just remember that you have to watch what you're eating!! You have no fucking idea what you're putting in your mouth! Stay vigilant, stay smart, be safe, be courteous. Keep watching the skies, the truth is out there, and the power is YOURS.



Comments (7)

So that was today's lesson of the dangers of Sugar and Corn which will one day disappear and all of America will become skinny and panicing.

lol. adulf korner

the corn drawing at the end XD

yeah corn is like the hardess boss and he pisses me of when he just starts poppin up and not stayin

i knew it the most evil carictor in casel crasers was the hitler corn

I wasn't expecting a news post like this. Ever. But you keep fighting that mean ol' modified menace!

Dude I know we're silly, but

Make an animation about it, you're a great artist... Don't write about this kind of stuff.. If you'd make an animation explaining this or something, you know u'll get much more ppl to understand it..

............ Go Moan! ..I mean.. Common! ^_^ Besides:

There's been a time since we are waiting for more action >:D