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Joe @Ukinojoe

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Joined on 9/28/06

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Ukinojoe's News

Posted by Ukinojoe - September 15th, 2008

I just realized my last post wasn't on the front page. Well whatever, it was really long-winded so here's the gist of it, plus what's on my mind today:

-high fructose corn syrup sucks
-not having to type out essays anymore when I can just say them out loud is pretty awesome
-Jones soda is delicious
-tankmen and madness are about penises
-Gwonzlum buys the universe

That last one is a new one, that's the name of a series I want to eventually start making. It's about an all-powerful godlike entity from another universe named Gwonzlum (the guy in my header image), that buys the entire universe for him to control. I draw Gwonzlum a lot, even years ago, when I was trying to make several cartoons that I just never found the time or patience for. He's basically just a strange looking villain type character that's all gray and has a hand for a body. I figured he would have to be a shape shifter, since I always thought of different ways to draw him in every picture. Gwonzlum's personality is hard to define, because he's not really a human, and doesn't have any human hopes, fears, dreams, or flaws, all he knows is commerce. He is not exactly evil but is completely cold, calculating and heartless. I think the best way I can describe his personality is that he's a mix of Hitler... and Jesus. You know, the two idealistic polar opposites. I think it would be an interesting mix, like putting marshmallow fluff on a burger. He tries to do good, but his idea of good is very different from ours.

Here's the picture for who ever missed it, or is too lazy to go back to the other entry.

Oh whoops/Gwonzlum

Posted by Ukinojoe - September 15th, 2008

I have reached a new level of laziness, or multitasking you will. I have found a way to write a blog entry while playing Castle crashers. I have hired a ghostwriter to write my VERY very important blog entries while I crash some VERY very important castles. My lovely new stenographer, who is named Ms. Dragon Naturallyspeaking, is really really awesome and you should check it out. it's been around a while but I just found out about it recently. It's technically made for people who have no hands but like to write blog entries anyway, I guess I could justify using it by saying that my hands are tied tied up, fighting... castles. There is definitely a good amount of editing you have to do afterward and especially proofreading because it never comes out perfect no matter how you say it, but enough voice training will keep errors and mistakes from being too often. I think the coolest thing about this is that now I can spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious without actually typing it because I have no idea how to spell it.but anyway enough showing off how cool the future is, let me try to follow up what I was saying in my last blog entry, assuming anyone read it.


It's been a week since I stopped eating high fructose corn syrup,and I would say that the results are inspiring, but also a little disturbing. One of the first things I noticed, was that I would get headaches at night. These headaches would hardly be relieved from taking ibuprofen, and it would sometimes be hard getting to sleep. Several days after the initial date, it stopped hurting so much until they finally went away. It was weird, because I knew that drinking some soda would make my headache go away, but I resisted like a person trying to be rehabilitated off of a drug. I think soda itself might just be an important thing to avoid, if not for the HFCS, then for all the caffeine, sodium, and artificial ingredients that are in it. I used to be addicted to Hawaiian Punch, I knew it didn't taste good but I couldn't stop drinking it. There is some really high tech mumbo-jumbo involved with opiates that explains why that is and you've probably heard it from some doctor like guy before. As far as I know almost all sweeteners are addictive and it's not even until after you've broke some of that addiction that you realize you're not drinking it for the flavor, you are drinking it for the addiction. That's the disturbing part, this stuff doesn't even taste good. We just can't stop eating it.

I've noticed that when I wake up in the morning, I don't feel as shitty as I used to up. I still feel dehydrated sometimes but not nearly as much. All I really have been drinking in the past week is water, coffee, orange juice, and diet soda, and it seems to be working out for me pretty well. The diet soda, I want to eventually replace with Jones soda, which is actually pretty hard to find here on Long Island. I live right near a supermarket but you can't get them there Jesus Christ, insane mode is ridiculous.

Anyway, I got to wrap this up soon, it's getting really late. I want to say that I think it's a good idea to avoid high fructose corn syrup, if you're in to causes its a good thing to get involved in, and if you're not into causes like me, you're doing yourself a favor by keeping that junk out of your body. Go to Trader Joe's, cut out soda, grow your own food, whatever you do, make sure you look at the label before you buy it. And that's pretty much all I have to say.


So now, now that HFCS is out of my system (hehe) onto cartoons. Uh, don't know yet. I have several madness Day ideas, this other one was a mix between madness and tankmen (MADMEN. hurr.) Madness has penis jokes, Tankmen has penis jokes, I figured they'd mesh together so well. Time is running out, so still don't know what's gonna happen with that. I think it has the potential of being funny, just like every other stupid uninspired idea of mine, but I'm so bad at writing for both of those concepts so I don't think I can put anything together soon enough. I just think it's funny that no one's done it before. I really want to do a political cartoon and begin an original series, but I am not sure if I'm really at that point yet in terms of experience. When I think of these big series-like ideas I always get ahead of myself and treat it like it's some kind of Hollywood movie. That's pretty much why all I can churn out for now is goofy parodies and borderline trippy music videos. I guess we'll see what the future will hold, soon enough.

I had a little Gwonzlum, I made him out of clay...

The Invisible Stenographer/FRUC YOU, CORN part 2

Posted by Ukinojoe - September 10th, 2008

For those of you who are LUCKY ENOUGH not to live in AMERIKKKA, you probably don't have to worry about a little-known substance known as High-Fructose Corn Syrup. You might know about corn syrup, but HFCS is a horribly gruesome mutant modification of corn syrup. From what I've come to learn about it, it's a processed food meant to emulate sugar, but since regular corn syrup has lower amounts of fructose in it than sugar, they GENETICALLY MODIFY it to have more. Example:

Sugar(sucrose): 50% glucose, 50% fructose
High Fructose Corn Syrup 55 (the kind found in soda): 45% glucose, 55% fructose.

So, what does this mean? I don't know. What could it mean for American nutrition? Maybe nothing. My sister's been talking bad about HFCS for months now, but it wasn't until I saw THIS COMMERCIAL that I realized I need to know more about the subject.

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So obviously the dangers of HFCS are a complete myth because everyone's too dumb and ignorant to see past the leftist propaganda that are just trying to take one of the biggest lobbyists down a pegWOAH WOAH Woah hold on before I get ahead of myself. Some facts:

-The corn industry produces more corn that is ever eaten by Americans. (You know, corn? Sweet corn, popcorn? The type you put into your mouth and eat that's in the SHAPE of corn? Hardly any of the corn produced becomes that.)

-Not only sugar, corn is used in the production of bread, adhesives, fuel, preservatives, and thousands of other things we use today.

-Most livestock like cattle and poultry are cornfed. Yeah, that means every time you eat chicken or beef, you're EATING MORE CORN. Ever go to McDonalds? Everything is corn. Everything.

-Corn is not very cheap to grow, but America has made it so it can be sold at low prices and farmers will still make a handsome profit. Know how this works? Besides the fact that EVERYTHING WE EAT IS CORN, this is probably the grossest of them all.

Taxpayers are paying enormous subsidies to corn growers, Bush made sure of that really quietly a few years back when everyone was too busy focusing on the war he started. In 2005 alone, $9.4 billion of taxes went straight to the corn guys. So whenever you go to McDonalds, thinking you made off like a bandit with that 99 cent Quarter McGreasy or whatever the fuck, they're really paying you in spades not only from making you fat with their nastiful food but you also end up paying them in your taxes.

Every one of those fucks in the junk food business (ANY American candy, soda, fast food, beef, etc) is dipping their greasy toes into the big ass pool full of corn kernels and these commercials they're sponsoring is just another thing to keep us fat, quiet, and addicted.


Ok, now that that's out of the way, here's a more conservative side.

I can't say I'm not a little skeptical. HFCS is, in a nutritional sense, very similar to sugar. Sugar is also addictive, can be harmful to your body, has alot of calories, and we do still eat alot of it despite the amount of HFCS everywhere.

The fact of the matter is that there really is insufficient research being done to find out more about HFCS and its possible negative effects on us. There's really only a few relevant arguments I can really think of that aren't just brutal attacks at the corn industry.

-Glucose can be absorbed by your bloodstream and organs and be used as energy. Fructose is mostly absorbed by your liver and is stored as fat. (Keep in mind, sugar has fructose too, but that extra 5% of it in HFCS can make a difference!!) Additionally, there are many types of HFCS, some with 58% fructose and 42% glucose.

-The other one, as you might have noticed if you enjoy Jone's Soda, is that HFCS tastes lousy. It's gross. It has a nasty aftertaste that makes your throat feel like it's burning with puke. You don't get that with sugar soda like Jone's. If you DO live outside America and haven't ever been here, you probably don't realize our soda tastes like ass. Even Canada and Mexico use sugar. USA is the only country, as far as I know, that HFCS is used so extensively.


I've been avoiding Hight Fructose Corn Syrup since Saturday the 6th, and I'll be exclusively avoiding it at LEAST until Saturday the 13th and then I'll write up about it some more in a FP post. I REALLY want to know if there'll be a difference, since the facts are all hard to follow or believe I decided the only way to find out is to try for myself and see if there's any noticeable difference. It's really not that hard. You just have to look at the ingredients section of any Nutrition Facts label on any food you buy, it's almost always the first or second ingredient if it's there.

If anyone has more facts about HFCS, or wants to correct me on anything I may have fucked up writing about, please feel free to and I'll edit it in. Just remember that you have to watch what you're eating!! You have no fucking idea what you're putting in your mouth! Stay vigilant, stay smart, be safe, be courteous. Keep watching the skies, the truth is out there, and the power is YOURS.



Posted by Ukinojoe - September 6th, 2008

School started again this week, so it's back to that old routine again. Set up the old coffee maker right next to my bed, accompanied by its good friend The Grinder and its thousands of little Columbian coffee bean victims. This year so far (in the two days I've been to school yet) doesn't seem so bad, classes are all the usual more of the same old same old, but they seem alright. A big difference this time around is having my license, so I get to keep my sanity by shortening my commute from 3+ hours to <30 minutes as well as not having to destroy my body with the horrors of the Dunkin Donuts menu (the only thing close enough to the train station that I can eat and not have to miss my damn train) It's great to have that set of keys, and the marvelous Angry Faic keychain (and shirt) I got today. Thanks you guys, now everybody on the road will know how ANGRY I am!! BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT SHIT, YOU WANNA KNOW ABOUT CARTOONS.

I'm sort of down to making one film a month, which is pretty good for me, considering its been zero films per year since '06 before I got into the whole Newgrounds lifestyle. I haven't decided yet if I'll make a Madness Day one, but I guess I could write a little about what I had in mind for what I might do. The idea is that, a bunch of kids are playing, and they do that pretend gun game we probably all did in 4th grade. They'd pick up anything and everything to use as a gun: sticks, rolled up paper, school supplies, whatever they can find, becomes a gun or a grenade or something. Their imagination would get them carried away, and from their perspective the "guns" are all blowing holes in their friends faces and tearing them to shreds. All the blood and gore happens on screen, but in reality it's just their imagination. I'd call it... Madness: IMAGINATION. Eh? Eh? Whatever.

The reason I might not really do it is because I have a much bigger thing planned that I might not do! It's a political cartoon that'd be a musical number, dealing with voting, or lack thereof. I'd be my most ambitious project yet so I feel like I need at least a month if not two months to do it.. I'd have to finish before election day!! But yeah, these are the things I've been thinking about for a couple weeks now. I'm not sure what'll come out of it yet but I'm sure it will be completely spontaneous and have nothing to do with anything you just read. Do yourself a favor and un-read it.

It's just hard for me to pick something and stick with it, ESPECIALLY the ones that are sincere and have integrity. >:(



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Posted by Ukinojoe - August 28th, 2008



Posted by Ukinojoe - August 15th, 2008



Happy C-DAY (or is it B-Day?)



Posted by Ukinojoe - August 6th, 2008

I wish I drew more. It's kind of hard to work on a drawing and concentrate on improving when you're working on a movie, have deadlines, have writer's block, etc. I started a blog a while ago but I want to update it more often to help understand how I've improved once all is said and drawn. I really love to draw gross or funny looking faces, that's what you'll be seeing alot of on it.


I made a new drawing of a witch named Grendela, who was a character in my first flash animation. It was a really crappy looking film and I'm embarrassed to look at it today, but I still like the character and draw her from time to time.

Blart Blogs

Posted by Ukinojoe - July 27th, 2008

I'm no Actionscript whiz. Hell, I don't know shit about it. I have a concept for a game that I want to make, a sort of game/movie hybrid with cutscenes between gameplay. It's a new and strange concept I'm trying to work with, half high-paced action tabletop game, half satire of japanese games, but I think it's something that could be really good and funny if I worked hard on it. If there's anyone out there who is good at making games and wants to collaborate, express your interest in the comments or send me a PM! I'm a new to collaboration, I've never made a game before, and I usually keep to myself on things, but I know I'd need help to make this and it'd be nice to have somebody else's input on something for a change. I drew some sort of "concept art" thing to get people interested.

The kind of game I'm looking to make is a table-type shooter similar to air hockey and snood put together, I'd need some physics, nothing too complicated, discs that bounce off of walls and other discs that gain and lose momentum. Then again I've never programmed anything so I don't know how complicated it would be to make, I think I'd need a somewhat experienced coder. The rules would be to shoot into the other person's goal, while defending yours by shooting at their bullets to collide in the air and bounce them into other directions. I haven't thought of all the rules yet but the basic game mechanics call for these things. If you have any other questions, let me know.

Yep, that's the same Bleached Faux-Hawk Guy from Opera-Pella Fun. He's also SUPPOSED to look like a complete tool. A Billion points to whoever knows what he's saying.

I want to make a game.. but I need your help!!

Posted by Ukinojoe - July 23rd, 2008

It's probably about 3 or 4 years overdue, but I finally took the road test for a SEVENTH time and succeeded in passing it. This has been the best day ever for a while, I'm finally free from bullshit public transportation. Right afterward I walked (yeah that's right, I walked) over to the game store and got GTA4, and later finished my latest flash, FF6 Opera-Pella Fun (http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view /450231), which involves an auto accident. Talk about timing.


I got my LICENSE

Posted by Ukinojoe - July 13th, 2008


I can't remember the last time a movie made me cry like this. Oh yeah, it was never. With all the other movies I saw this year, or "BOOVIES", as I call them, I didn't really imagine there'd be one like this coming out. I love Pixar and know I can always rely on them for fantastic animated movies, but seriously. This movie was really fucking glorious.

I know there's been probably a hundred thousand other people who wrote something or other about Wall-E, but I just felt like I needed to say something. I like alot of movies but it's really rare that I'm so very touched by any, ever.

I also drew this picture.

Wall-E is the greatest thing on two treads